Oct. 17th, 2010 09:30 am
jamesh: White, male, with beard and glasses, scruffy. (Default)
Today is day two.

Day one was not terribly pleasant. I wasn't an asshole, but I was steadily more and more irritated throughout shopping. Only seemed to recover from the mood when the drugs wore off. I'm hoping this isn't going to be common behavior.

Psychiatrist seems to think Ritalin is going to effect me the same as it does everyone else, and does not seem to account for ADD metabolism. To him, Ritalin is speed, and as such can only have the one possible effect. The fact that I get mental clarity from it is obviously just a side effect, or perhaps a personal interpretation of what Ritalin does. I sometimes wonder if he thinks the ADD reverse effect from caffeine and sugar is psychosomatic or what. The only reason I am currently on Ritalin at all is because I crammed the option down his throat. Previously, if Strattera didn't work for me (it doesn't) there was no other possible option in his mind. No, ADD is not his particular specialty, how did you guess?

But there are no other options for psychiatrist unless we want to double the price long-term until we can narrow down exactly what substance at what dose.

Sweetie came in with me during last appointment. Psychiatrist didn't like that, although he kept his tone of voice polite enough, which is what I pick up on. I totally missed the snottiness and dismissiveness she caught onto, or not until she pointed it out.

The current plan is to try this dose and then double it at the start of next month, and see if things improve. The last time I tried Ritalin I came to the conclusion that Ritalin just made everything go faster, but not clearer or smarter. I didn't remember what I meant when I was off it, but now I'm beginning to see I was right.


jamesh: White, male, with beard and glasses, scruffy. (Default)

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