jamesh

After much thought I have to let go of some more of my dreams.

I am not an aspiring artist or writer. I have some of those skills, but I don't draw or write enough, nor have the desire to draw or write, enough to say that those define any part of me. I sometimes write and I occasionally will draw something, but that's about it.

Likewise, I know a little martial arts, but it's not something I really do except for sometimes, when I'm bored, or when I just want to, or when I think I need to exercise enough to actually do some of the moves.

The trouble is, with those things gone, I don't really know who I am anymore. I don't have an identity I can point to and say: "That's who I am. That's what I do." I only know what I'm not.

As usual, I can divest myself of false images in the hopes that some other identity will present itself in the wake of the old, dead dreams. Not artist, writer, martial artist, scholar.

Maybe I'm a magician, maybe I'm still some sort of philosopher, maybe I'm a role player or gamer.

We'll see.